Bypassing Negative Self-Talk: Strategies for Empowering Introverts in Healthcare
Find your path out of
Negative self-talk
Imagine yourself at the end of a long, stressful day. It's been rough.
In hopes of calming your nervous system, you're taking a minute to yourself. You close your eyes and take a few slow, deep breaths. You roll your head and shoulders around a bit, trying to release the tension.
Almost immediately, an obnoxiously loud voice interrupts your moment of solitude. You try to block it out, but it seems to be coming from every direction.
And it's not your favorite clinic extrovert.
No, it's the voice in your head. Call it the inner critic, the gremlin, or the judge. Call it something else if you want! No matter the label, it's that ticker tape of negativity, shame, and contempt that seems to follow you wherever you go.
No one is immune. It shows up for all of us at one time or another. Far from being a source of practical, constructive advice meant to make you a better person, negative self-talk is a significant energy drain.
Let's plug it.
Let's Look at the Effects of Negative Self-Talk
We've all been plagued by the steady stream of negative self-talk our brain offers us. Some of us hear it more than others.
It's that constant flow of self-criticism, second-guessing, and judgment that seems to follow you around no matter how hard you try.
Need an inner critic example? See if any of these sound familiar.
▶ "I'm 30 minutes behind again. The patients are waiting. Why can't I ever stay on schedule?"
▶ "I'm a terrible person. I was rushed and worried about getting my note done. I should be giving my patients more timeand attention."
▶ "How can I be a good clinician when I don't even keep up with that stack of medical journals piling up on my desk?"
▶ "How could I even consider calling in sick to work? That's ridiculous. I need to buck up. Other people power through. I should, too."
▶ "Maybe I should just pass on that leadership role. There's probably someone with more experience who could handle it better than me."
▶ "I should be more social and talkative even if I do find it exhausting."
Helpful, right? Wrong.
Negative self-talk can negatively (surprise!) impact your physical and mental health.
It shreds your confidence and undermines your ability to trust yourself. The more you listen to your inner Debbie Downer (SNL fans, you know), the more your world is dominated by feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt.
Regularly focusing on the negative can impair your ability to concentrate and effectively problem-solve. It can also influence your interactions with others and may create relationship strain.
When you're not feeling great about yourself, you're also more likely to procrastinate or withdraw. Unchecked, this all adds up to an expanding spiral of stress and anxiety, which is often followed by physical symptoms, like fatigue, headaches, or digestive issues.
For introverts in healthcare, that inner critical voice can make you feel constantly wrong. It can tell you you're wrong for needing solitude, preferring a calmer environment, or for not being outgoing or energetic enough. Worse yet, it can compel you to show up in ways that don't align with your natural tendencies, which only increases the self-criticism. Rather than boosting your mood, you end up feeling even more drained.
Where Does Negative Self-Talk Come From? What's The Point?
We've confirmed your inner critic is a big jerk. This may lead you to ask, "If it's so unhelpful, why do so many of us still have a harsh inner critic?"
Outward appearances can be deceiving. Despite the belligerent and overbearing nature of our inner critical voice, it has served its purpose over time.
Generally speaking, our inner critic believes it's protecting us and doing us a favor. By keeping us on edge and wary of, well, most everything, it seeks to help us identify threats and avoid failure or embarrassment. And, let's be honest, sometimes that inner critical voice pushes us to get things done.
Certainly, there's a better way.
Learn the Skills to Quiet Your Inner Critic and Diminish Negative Self-Talk
Fortunately, you can learn to tame your inner critic. With patience and practice you can transform the negative self-talk of the harsh inner critic voice into your own positive inner coach. Let's get started.
Recognize Negative Thought Patterns
Just as it's easier to walk in the woods when there's a well-worn trail, it's easier to fall into negative self-talk when you've practiced it over and over.
You may have practiced some thoughts so well that you no longer question them. You've accepted them as truths.
That means our first job is creating awareness.
Equally important is cultivating self-compassion and striving for a non-judgmental attitude as you start to tame your inner critic.
This is the time to let go of perfection. Some days, you'll cover new ground and gleefully catch all of those self-defeating thoughts. On other days, you'll find yourself walking those well-worn paths. Celebrate your success here, and let the rest go.
Now, here are some tips for catching yourself in negative self-talk.
Label your thoughts. Keep it simple. Labeling is a simple way to start shifting your negative thinking. If you find yourself thinking, "I'm always behind," shift the narrative. Instead, say, "I'm noticing that I'm thinking I'm always behind." The first statement sounds like a declaration of fact, while the second is merely an observation. By using the labeling technique, you can name them for what they are: merely thoughts.
Notice triggers. Keep a log of people or situations that send your negative thoughts into overdrive. You don't need to do anything about it just yet. The goal is to first create awareness. Do you spend staff meetings distracted by negative self-talk? Is there one colleague that makes you doubt yourself every time you interact with them? That's good information to have.
Keep a thought journal. When you've been practicing the same thoughts for so long, catching them on the fly can be easier said than done. Take 5-10 minutes per day and write whatever comes to mind. Then, take a few minutes to review what you've written. This can make it easier to notice disparaging thoughts and identify patterns.
Create Freedom From Your Inner Critic
Even if you feel your inner critic has you spinning in circles as you face the onslaught of negative self-talk, don't lose hope.
Creating awareness is a giant leap toward learning to silence your inner critic. The next step is learning to deploy your inner guide to help you create a new foundation of support for withstanding and deflecting negative self-talk.
Remember, your harsh inner critic has likely been around as long as you can remember. It served a useful purpose at some point in your life, or it wouldn't have hung around so long. Keeping this in mind, you'll likely need a multi-pronged approach to turn the tables. Use the power of your mind and body as your inner coach, and let them lead the way.
Rewire for Positive Self-Talk
Just as negative thoughts can tear you down, positive thoughts can raise you back up. Use these thought-based strategies to support yourself.
Reframe
Start with reframing the inner critic's accusations and declarations. When the critic shows up with, "I'm a terrible person for not giving my patients more time," ask yourself if it's true.
Is there another way to look at the situation? Choose a new thought, like "I'm making the most of my time and energy and giving my patients the best care I can." If that doesn't feel true, adjust as necessary. Maybe all you can believe right now is "Everyone has good days and bad days. I'm doing the best I can."
The important thing here is that you believe the new thought.
Interrupt
When the negative voices are going full speed and getting too loud, say "stop" or something similar. Say it in your head or say it out loud. When the voices show up as one long run-on sentence in your head ("I'm never going to get this done on time I have so much to do what if I don't make the deadline I'm a failure…"), it helps to create a break in the momentum.
After stopping the flow of negativity, shift the focus toward thoughts that recognize your strengths. "I'm a great problem-solver and I know how to focus. I can make this happen. And, if I can't, I'm completely capable of coming up with a Plan B."
It's like putting a giant log across that well-worn path and creating a detour to your new path of positive self-talk.
Acknowledge
Remember, your inner critic was born with good intentions - to keep you safe. While it may feel silly, you can appreciate your inner critical voice for what it's trying to accomplish.
Rather than trying to shut it down, thank it and bring it along for the ride. It can even be helpful to give it a name. "Thanks, Debbie. I appreciate your concern that I may publicly embarrass myself, but I've got this. I have a well-thought-out plan, and I think I'll be OK expressing my opinion."
Your Body is Your Ally
Along with your thoughts, your body can be a great source of wisdom and strength.
Alert to Sensations
The inner critical voice is so prevalent that it often hums along like background noise without us even realizing it. This is where tuning into the body can help. Get to know the sensations that pop up (for example tightness, numbness, or tingling) when your inner critic is at work.
When you've done this, your body can start alerting you to the inner critic's negative impact, even if you don't consciously notice the thoughts. By familiarizing yourself with these sensations, you may also start recognizing the inner critic in thoughts that you once took as "truth."
The next time you say, "I can't _____ because I'm an introvert," notice if the statement is accompanied by a pit in your stomach, tightness in your chest, or a sense of contraction. If so, it's likely your inner critic at work.
Sense the Nonsense
Another way to slow the steady stream of negative thoughts is by using your senses to ground you in the present.
When you notice negative thoughts racing ahead and predicting how you'll never stack up against some imaginary measure of perfection, tune in to your five senses. What do you see, hear, and feel in this moment? What do you smell or taste?
Focusing on the here and now can distract the inner critic. It lets you refocus your energy, intentionally choose your thoughts, and bypass self-critical thinking. When you’re able to be in the moment, your inner critic can’t berate you with thoughts about the past or fret about what might happen in the future. By grounding yourself, you can find a much needed reprieve.
Expand to Expel
Being bombarded day in and day out with negative thoughts can make you feel small. How you feel can impact how you behave. You may notice your body starting to contract and withdraw, with the outcome being that you make yourself physically smaller.
Stand up to your inner bully. Lengthen your spine, roll your shoulders back, and lift your head. Take up space. Let your inner critic know you're not willing to slink off into the corner by using your posture to deflect negative thinking.
Reclaiming Your Energy from Negative Self-Talk
You're exposed to no shortage of challenges and stressors as an introvert working in healthcare. You don't need your own brain piling on!
Now is the time to find freedom from your inner critic. By committing to consistently creating awareness and interrupting your harsh inner critical voice with a more compassionate dialogue, you set yourself up for greater confidence and resilience.
When you know your worth, you can direct your energy toward becoming your own best advocate and cheerleader in your personal and work life.
Remember, we can never banish the inner critic completely. Challenging negative self-talk is an ongoing journey. Start with awareness. Then, be patient with yourself as you learn to shift to a kinder, more positive narrative and create new patterns.
The positive impact on your mental and physical health will be palpable.
Charity is a physician and burnout coach helping introverts in healthcare escape feelings of apathy, irritability, and resentment brought on by the increasing demands and decreasing rewards of medicine.
She uses her 20 years of experience in clinical medicine combined with coaching to help introverts discover ways to be diligent, thoughtful clinicians while prioritizing their needs and protecting their energy. She wants you to know you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting a thriving life inside and outside of medicine.