Start Having Fun Again, Even If You Don't Remember How
Do What You Love,
Have Fun.
"I don't remember how to have fun. I don't even remember what I enjoy anymore."
I've heard this many times, and it breaks my heart.
Healthcare professionals' schedules have become saturated with a steady stream of work, home, and family obligations that seemingly obliterate an essential component of our well-being: pleasure.
For introverts in healthcare, the constant drive to perform and produce, to live up to sometimes non-human standards, and to push through no matter the circumstance has contributed to an inability to acknowledge themselves on a most basic level.
What feels good?
In what ways do you enjoy your life?
What do you do for fun?
These shouldn't be difficult questions. And yet, client after client says, "I don't know."
If you recognize yourself in this narrative, know you are not alone.
Healthcare professionals are, by their nature, often focused on others' needs. You can become so attuned to empathetically and compassionately focusing on others that you've forgotten one important person…
YOU.
It's time to get to know yourself and start having fun again.
Why Having Fun and Enjoyment Fades (And Why That's Not OK)
Consider your last week. If you have a calendar with all your activities and obligations mapped out, that's even better.
*How much time was devoted to work?
And let's be honest here. Don't just count the time you were physically at work. Also, count the personal hours stolen away by answering phone calls, responding to texts, completing charts, and generally expending mental energy considering your patients and colleagues' needs.
*Now consider family and personal obligations.
I'm talking about the hours spent coordinating, managing, chauffeuring, and, again, the minutes and hours spent contemplating these tasks.
*Next, tally up how much quality sleep you've had.
There are 168 hours in a week.
In the last week, how many of your 168 hours were spent doing something you wanted to do for the sheer enjoyment of it?
Introverts in healthcare often find that fun and enjoyment have been squeezed out of their schedule.
Even when you have free time, how often does the thought of doing something for fun lead to guilt over "wasting" valuable time?
When you don't prioritize fun time and enjoyment, you risk losing out on the benefits of play. Far from being responsible, practical, and effective, forgoing playfulness and enjoyment contributes to stress, loss of creativity, and mental and emotional exhaustion.
Knowing how to have fun is necessary.
Remember How it Feels to Have Fun
Think back to your younger years before the pressures of being a grown-up influenced your perception of fun.
What were the things you could do for hours for the sheer joy of it?
Let yourself travel back in time. Recall a time that registers as pure delight in your memory.
Now, close your eyes. Picture the environment, people, and activity. What were the smells and sounds? What did you touch? Maybe you can even taste the memories.
Now that you've tuned into the moment and can return to that place and time using your senses, pay attention to the emotions at play.
Did you feel light, expansive, or energized? Did you feel calm, unrushed, and safe? Maybe you felt awe, curiosity, and strength.
Whatever the feelings, let yourself experience them now. How do they feel in your body? Maybe your posture shifts, you breathe easier, or an area of tension releases.
This is what you want to start paying attention to. This is your felt sense of fun.
When you can recall how fun felt in the past, it's easier to start noticing the subtle pings of enjoyment that show up in the present.
When you've ignored yourself for so long, noticing when you're starting to have fun again takes intention and focus.
Don't Take the Fun Out of Having Fun
For some introverts, external pressures and influences can create pressure about what fun should look like.
The first and only rule for having fun and enjoyment is that whatever you're doing feels good to you. That means it fits your interests and temperament, not someone else's.
With that rule in mind and armed with your felt sense of fun, let curiosity lead the way.
Start small, and don't put pressure on yourself to have fun.
Letting yourself enjoy the little things regularly can have just as much impact, or more, as one or two big events. It also prevents a mere handful of events from being solely responsible for your pleasure.
If you're not sure where to start, go back to hobbies you used to enjoy. You may reignite the spark of enjoyment you had from a past activity. Or, a past hobby might act as the inspiration and catalyst for trying something new.
Again, the goal when you're trying to get back in touch with how to have fun is to make the process as effortless as possible. Build micro-fun into your day. If watching cat videos or playing Wordle feels fun, do it!
Tapping into enjoyment is not wasted time. If you're still stuck in that mindset, reframe having fun as a requirement for energy renewal rather than mere indulgence.
Enjoying your life doesn't have to be earned. So, in case you need it, I'm granting you permission to drop the guilt right now.
Make Having Fun a Way of Life
As I mentioned, having fun and enjoyment isn't just something you should strive for only once or twice a year. Ideally, you want to weave fun into your everyday experience.
Getting to know yourself and your needs is vital.
Introverts and extroverts can have vastly different ways of experiencing fun. Honor that. Make sure to consider what feeds you energetically and allow time for solitude and solo activities.
Get creative and gamify the process of identifying fun activities. How can you sprinkle enjoyment throughout your day?
And don't forget to pay attention to your body.
Notice when your felt sense of fun and enjoyment pops up spontaneously and follow the thread. You may discover that you know exactly how to have fun, after all.
You Deserve to Have Fun and Enjoy Yourself
You likely haven't forgotten how to have fun. You probably still know the things that bring you delight. It's just that your knowing has been buried under responsibility and obligation.
Start scheduling some of your 168 hours per week just for you. No outside interruptions. No catering to others' needs. Create the space to find your preferences again. Allow yourself to be playful even when it feels frivolous. Especially if it feels frivolous.
Having fun isn't about fitting into another mold created outside of yourself. It's about discovering and doing what you love. Without expectation. And without guilt.
I'm giving you a gentle nudge: within the next day, identify and follow through with a tiny activity that feels good purely for the sake of feeling good. Enjoy yourself.
Want to learn more about nurturing your hobbies outside of work?
Learn how to protect and support your energy for greater well-being with the Energy Management for Introverts in Healthcare guide.
You can access it for free here.
Ready for 1:1 support from someone who understands your introverted nature?
Learn more about working with me here.
Charity is a physician and burnout coach helping introverts in healthcare escape feelings of apathy, irritability, and resentment brought on by the increasing demands and decreasing rewards of medicine.
She uses her 20 years of experience in clinical medicine combined with coaching to help introverts discover ways to be diligent, thoughtful clinicians while prioritizing their needs and protecting their energy. She wants you to know you don’t have to feel guilty for wanting a thriving life inside and outside of medicine.